Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Don't wear fur. Yeaaaaaa OK.

THANK YOU EVA MENDES! Not only are you that sort of slutty hot that makes men say stupid shit and adopt dogs, but you also are down to get naked to convince us! So thanks, I am saying this as I chew on a piece of un-organic beef jerkey, wearing a fur trimmed jacket and thinking of my next hamburger which might end up being my dinner acompanied with an IPA.  I, a humble and simple man appreciate you. Even if you probably cant cook a GOT DAMN thang! Let alone a piece of meat. Which brings me to how ridiculous women have become. Go back to being mommies and masters of the kitchen. No dude I know gets an erection if he hears about a woman working as a CEO or CFO or PLO or any other acronym that doesnt represent being a sexy woman with mad cooking abilities! SO all you over-indulgent women, demand a door to be opened for you and cook me some damn cookies.



I got something you can clean...starting with my laundry and ending with the dishes.

Can I kick it? Yes you can. 

What are you looking at. You aint a thundercat...Oh wait maybe you are. 

I would be down for marriage if this is what consummating the marriage looked like. 

I don't know about you but picnics are key with sandwiches. 

I wonder if Eva cares about taxes?

Oh dear goodness. 

Oh dear goodness part II. This is the sort of ass a man works his ass off his entire life to get up in that tulip. 

1 comment:

  1. Baaaaaha....I always say this, but this time I mean it. I think Eva is a dude. For real. If I met her/him I would do that trick Mick Dundee does where he grabs the chicks dode salami. If she was a she I'd quickly apologize and explain I thought she had a dick...I'm sure shed understand. If he was in fact hiding salami I'd kill myself for flogging it to those photos....
    Milk

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