Wednesday, February 16, 2011

My 1st born child....VERSACE VALENTINI

This post is dedicated to children's names I have been thinking about. I had sex with a mexican girl last week so I suppose I should have some sort of contingency plan for the impending pregnancy ahead. I plan on naming my 1st born child Versace Valentini, no matter if it is a boy or a girl. 

Gianni Versace was an original. Often copied but never duplicated.  He was gangster murked by some jealous lover. Pretty fucking tragic if you ask me. I find it interesting that he left the company to his niece  (Donatella's daughter). Technically she owns like all of the VERSACE fortune. If only she were hot, I would try and get up in there. But you know I dont go for that anexoric look. Doesnt look good with my skin tone. And doesnt match my "Sir mix a lot" ring tone. 
This is Versace's niece. Heir to the VERSACE Palace and all things gold related in the company, which is about 95% of the corporation. This is the sad part, she's competely anexoric in the scary way. She's a pretty girl too, she just needs to put on at least 50 lbs. I don't understand how you can allow your daughter to get this skinny especially while living in the States!? I mean tie the bitch down and force feed her fucking big macs until she's above 100 lbs!  I wish she would just eat a sandwich or something. I would be down for her if she were almost fat, she has that sort of face that would look good slightly cherubish.  

This is what super models look like. Christy Turlington was perfection personified. Fucking bitch wont return my tweets. Just kidding. I wonder if she is on twitter actually??? Her tweets would read like this.."@wholefoods I'm rich and having a party with the ghost of Tupac and all the old 90's supermodels...why don't you sell organic Cocaine here! Ughh lol #complaints

Could you win an argument if your girlfriend gave you this look followed up with.."lets just have makeup sex"?
Wow. And 90's muff. WIN. 

The 90's...supermodels. Biggie, Big L, AOL instant messenger,  east coast hip hop was cracking... What the fuck happened to hip hop! It's on some gay shit now with Kanye and Drake!? I mean Kanye is at least black. What the fuck is DRAKE? Canadian!? I mean Snoop and Dre are still in the game but they are ready for AARP benefits and talking about smoking weed and fucking bitches! C'mon, they are almost as old as my pops! 
I'll take all of them except the one in the middle. She kinda looks like a man. 

Cool ads in the 80's, I can imagine the photographer/art director high on coke saying "Ok girls, pretend you're riding a horse...Yea Gianni, it looks really cool. The wood really ads the cool factor" 

"Hey girl, get on that block of wood and pretend you're getting butt rammed"